Just Mediocre

First off, I wanted to thank you, dear readers. I was so encouraged by the response to my previous post. Thank you so much to those of you who read, commented and shared it with others. I am pumped!

I’ve been planning a blog series on recovery for a while now, so I plan to revisit some of the tips I shared in that post. It would help me a ton if you would leave comments here on what you would like to read about, questions, or which tips interest or challenge you the most. Remember, Christie and I screen every comment before publishing it, so you can ask to remain anonymous.

I also wanted to clarify that not all of these tips will be right for you. Everyone needs their own mental health “regimen” to fit their lifestyle, just as physical exercise needs to be tailored to every individual. And just as someone who has never exercised before needs to start slow, the same goes for these tips. I would suggest picking just one or two to work on at a time. And again, always remember to BE KIND to yourself. If you are hard on yourself, keeping track of how you ‘measure up’ with habits like exercise and getting enough sunlight, you are defeating the purpose. So please, please be kind to yourself.

OCD and anxiety disorders often go along with a perfectionist personality (not that all perfectionists have OCD, or that if you are not a perfectionist you will not develop OCD, but there is a trend), and people with OCD can become obsessed with doing their therapy “perfectly.” It is a tricky paradox to navigate, but I think the key is to emphasize showing yourself grace and kindness.

You’ll notice a theme here and throughout this blog: grace. If you don’t show grace to others, you won’t have deep, satisfying relationships. And if you don’t show yourself grace, you won’t be able to maintain any level of mental health.

One of the most important things I learned during recovery I learned from a fellow patient in a group therapy setting. She was a first-time mom like me, and like me she struggled with perfectionist tendencies. She spoke up in group about how she was learning that being a “good enough” mom is actually being a great mom. Why? Because shooting for great or “perfect” is inaccessible and unsustainable. You become hard on yourself and miserable. Your children will see your standard for yourself, assume it is your standard for them as well, and be hard on themselves and miserable. Just as we need to model healthy eating and exercise habits for our children, we need to model healthy mental habits as well. Not to mention if you as a mother are unhappy and stressed, you will not be able to be present and available to your children. It’s the whole “put your mask on first” basic principle of self-care. Trying to do a perfect job in one area of life ends up costing too much in other, often more important, areas. It’s better to aim for and be happy with “good enough.”

So come on, Moms! It’s time to celebrate mediocrity! Time to be just “good enough,” and realize that that is just great.