"I hereby resolve"--J

It’s a new year, it’s a new day!

I’ve been thinking a lot about New Year’s resolutions lately--please don’t groan. I know everyone else and their dog and their dog’s nephew’s cousin (do dogs have cousins and nephews? I guess they must) are writing about New Year’s resolutions. I realize New Year's resolutions are extremely cliché. I know that if you’ve made any of your own in some previous, more idealistic life, you’ve inevitably been frustrated and depressed by the whole thing. And then of course there’s the stereotypical New Year’s resolution like “I’m gonna get fit,” which turns out to be un-measurable and unachievable (let’s go back to grade 10 CALM class, or whatever they called that ‘life skills’ class at your school: a goal must be specific and measurable, etc. etc.--remember SMART?) Even if your goals are “SMART,” you’ll often go through periods of failure and frustration because, guess what, you’re human!

No resolution should be sold without batteries of grace: if at first you don’t succeed, forgive, forgive, forgive yourself. It’s a simple concept, but very hard to actually practice for those of us with a tendency to perfectionism and negative thinking. You know that grace you give your best friend, when she is late again, or does that really annoying thing with her napkin? You turn a blind eye or you gently tease, but mainly you forgive. Kindness. Patience. Give that to yourself. I’m learning that failure isn’t a reason to punish myself, rather, it’s a chance to re-evaluate what I am doing and my priorities. Sometimes, I need to change something about my time management or efficiency in order to get it done. Sometimes, it’s the priority I’ve placed that might need to be down-shifted a little, if only for a time.

Resolutions help me focus on the big picture. I am a detail-oriented person; I tend to get  sidetracked by details and forget the whole point  for the details in the first place. “Can’t see the forest for the trees” type thing. Doing research projects in school, I would spend weeks “researching,” aka. chasing bunny trails through mountainous stacks of books. I’d find myself with just a day--or night--left to actually write the paper, and with nothing but bunny trails that didn’t fit with the path I’d initially chosen for my paper. So I developed a strategy to keep myself from getting “lost in the forest,” so to speak. I would set my alarm for thirty minutes or so while I was researching, and when the alarm went off, I’d take a few minutes to stand up, stretch, get some air into my head, and remind myself of my goals for the paper. If I didn’t set my alarm, I’d come up with all sorts of excuses for why I couldn’t stop at the half hour, or I would ignore the clock, or just lose track of time. I had to force myself to get out of detail-mode for a minute and review the big picture.

One important note, however. Resolutions themselves are not the big picture. After reviewing the big picture, I think about all the itty-bitty steps I need to take to get there, and then go after that first itty, bitty step. That’s a resolution--resolving to take the first step. And I’m talking itty-bitty baby steps here, people. You can always make a bigger goal later, once you’ve managed the first step.

I realize some people think resolutions shouldn’t be relegated to one day of the year only, and I agree. I’m not saying to make goals only on New Year’s day. But New Year’s is just a great, logical, albeit arbitrary time to “set your alarm,” take a break, take some time to think about the big picture, and make some real, SMART goals!

Here are a few of mine:

I hereby resolve:

that when I wake up in the morning dreading the day and wishing I didn’t have to get out of my lovely warm, safe bed (OK, so I’m NOT a morning person), I will set my mind instead on the possibilities the day offers for God to provide abundant life;

that I will mindfully enjoy what I am given in life, just for the sake of enjoyment, knowing that it is for enjoyment that God has given it. Once a day I will taste, smell, look at, listen to or just snuggle something or someone I love, just for the pure enjoyment of it, mindfully paying attention to the gratitude that wells up in my heart (or doesn’t--I know it won’t always, and that’s OK too.)

When my mind leaps to assume blame (whether my own or others’), I will slow down and tell myself: “Don’t assume bad intentions.” It’s pretty rare that the intentions are really bad, and easier to forgive when I assume the best.

I will use my "alarm" principle monthly, weekly, daily, even hourly on bad days(!), either by setting an actual alarm or a calendar appointment, e-mail reminder, weekly routine, etc. I will take 5, 10, 15 minutes to review goals and priorities, and keep the Main Thing the Main Thing.

to simplify my life by getting rid of useless and un-beautiful objects, activities and thoughts. I will start by taking--or just setting aside--one bag of stuff to a thrift store once every week.

to just write, every day if possible, and not care if it comes out wrong sometimes. That’s what editing is for!

that when--not if--I fail in the above, I will serve myself a heaping helping of grace. Help yourself, too.